I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
