the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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