It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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