So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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