She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
