She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize