So drunk its hurt
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
