I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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