it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
