The maid of honor just puked.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
