need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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