Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
