i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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