so explain again why im purple
no
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize