where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
