then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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