You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
