What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
