what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
