you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
