i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
