Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
