Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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