Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
