have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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