speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
