Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
