Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
