Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
