You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
