Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
