it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
