Do you still have your period?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the condom got lost in my hair
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
