you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
