We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
