he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
