I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
