Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
