You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
