Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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