The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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