Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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