The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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