I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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