It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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