Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize