it wasn't lemon gatorade
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
