she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I will be naked everywhere
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
