I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
