I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
