Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
