his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
