that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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