I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
