Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
