p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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