Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
