I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
