I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
